As we grow older, we explore and discover what matters to us. Do we value love? Family? Career? Education? Ourselves? Friends?
Honestly, learning about ourselves enough to know what we value takes time. In fact, you may not even be aware that you value something until a conflict disrupts that value. For example, you may value friends but fail to intentionally put time into those friendships until your friend expresses dissatisfaction with your friendship.
Eventually, you will figure it out. You will know what you value. Unfortunately, this is when the plot thickens. When you recognize your values, you need to also recognize that your values aren’t necessarily anyone else's.
For instance, you may believe that friends >>> family. However, your friend may feel differently. They may value family >>> friends. Often, these differences in values can lead to conflict, especially if one fails to recognize that everyone has their own values.
The big picture is to first spend time understanding oneself. Reflect, ponder, and contemplate: where do you see yourself in 30 years? What does your day look like? Are you spending time with your family or taking your career to the next step?
Once you’ve taken a deep dive into yourself, it is time to extend your reflection towards others. Please recognize that others have different values and respect these values. Understand that everyone has different upbringings and lived experiences—and none of these are ‘right’ or ‘wrong.’
In understanding that one's values may be different from someone else, you’ll be able to reach a sense of inner peace during times of conflict. You deserve to have your values respected. Likewise, your loved ones deserve to have their values respected, too!
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