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When Setting Boundaries is Difficult

For some of us, setting boundaries feels impossible. It might be because we’re taught to be people pleasers. Or it might be because our parents guilt-tripped us anytime we tried to set a boundary. Or it could be something else.


Either way, we need to learn to set these boundaries. We need to know to prioritize ourselves.


We’re responsible for our own happiness, limits, and actions. We can’t keep letting people push us to meet their needs—not if it means we have to burden ourselves every single time.


For the first time yesterday, I set a boundary with my mom. She reacted as anyone would when a need they usually have met was no longer being met. Instead of letting her reaction dictate how I feel, I chose to focus on the bigger picture.


You can only control your own reactions. You can’t control anyone else’s. Focus on that. Accept that. When you set a boundary, someone is not going to have one of their needs met. They will react because it’s a disruption to what they are used to. You need to be okay with that. You’re not responsible for meeting their needs over yourself.


Put yourself first. Set the boundary.



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