If I had to pick one thing as the overarching cause of misery in my life, it would be overthinking. Overthinking is truly the bane of my existence (to clarify, not in the ‘Bridgerton’ sense but the literal sense). Sometimes, I just lay awake at night staring at my ceiling while my brain goes in circles and circles over the same thoughts. It’s exhausting.
My overthinking tends to boil down to these particular questions filled with regret, anxiety and worry. Should I have not done that? Did I hurt their feelings? What if I mess up again? Do they like me? Am I ____?
When something is bothering me, these questions never stop. They keep me up at night pondering my existence. Sometimes, I just wonder: Why am I like this? Why can’t I let it go? What’s wrong with me? The number of times I’ve been upset with myself for letting these uncontrollable things get to me is countless.
At some point, we just need to recognize that a lot of this overthinking is out of our control and in the past. You probably can’t even answer a lot of those questions in your head because they are meant for someone else. You can either stare at your ceiling and dwell on your regrets or accept what happened (good or bad) and consider how you will move forward.
This is most definitely easier said than done. It’s hard to tell your thoughts to stop. You need to find a coping mechanism that works for you. For instance, verbalising your thoughts in a manner that allows you to accept what has occurred, acknowledge your feelings and consider future steps may be helpful:
“I accept that I am feeling this [emotion] because of [situation]. It is okay for me to feel this way because [valid reasons]. Moving forward, I will [action to resolve/prevent situation].”
Or maybe that isn’t helpful for you, and that is okay. The bottom line is that you’re not alone in this. Many of us fall into the trap of overthinking. Be kind to yourself and reflect on coping mechanisms that can help you kick overthinking in the ass :)
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