Personally, emotional regulation is something I’ve always struggled with. Growing up, I didn't have the opportunity to learn about how to regulate myself in an emotional context. When I entered my teenage years, my emotions almost bullied me.
At some point, I had enough of being unable to control my emotions. I went to a counselor to work on this issue with her. Today, I’d like to share what I’ve learned with you all 🙂
Part of emotional regulation is recognizing that you can control your reactions—you cannot control how others will react to you. With this realization, there is power in allowing yourself to gain control!
This is what works for me:
When something occurs that triggers a strong emotion, I experience physical symptoms—my heart starts beating faster, tears make their way down my cheeks, or my neck starts heating up. This signals to me “oh, you are experiencing an emotion!”
With this realization, I try and label the emotion I am feeling. Am I sad? Am I mad? Am I happy? Am I hurt? What am I feeling? It almost doesn’t matter how accurate the label is—the power is in the act of labeling in itself.
Regardless of how accurately I labeled the emotion, my mind gained a sense of control. This allows me to then consider WHY I am experiencing this emotion.
Once I have the underlying cause, I validate myself: “The cause for my emotion is fair and justified. It is okay to feel this way”
Then, I either reframe the situation or brainstorm solutions. For instance, I might look at the positives or I might actively create an action plan to overcome the stressor. Either way, I find relief and fully gain control of my emotions.
The above works for me and it might work for you. Please give it a try and let me know if it works work you! However, it probably won’t work for everyone and that is okay. Regardless of whether this works for you or not, I would highly recommend seeking professional help to support your life journey. Trust me, it’s a game-changer! I wish you the best on your mental health journey :)
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