The 20s are a time of personal growth: you’re gaining job experience, pursuing various forms of education, and learning more about yourself every step of the way. During this monumental period of your life, friends come and go; you learn from your most stable friendships and the most heartbreaking friendship breakups.
In your 20s, you start building a new type of family defined by choice. Friends! But how do you find YOUR people? The people that you click with instantly and understand you deeply?
Through personal experience, I think the first step is understanding yourself. What type of friends are you looking for? How frequently do you like to interact with friends? Are you a texter or a caller? Are you an extrovert, introvert, or ambivert? What types of things do you want to have in common?
Then, it is important to recognize the other forces at play in society. For instance, society often encourages us to be a certain type of person with “socially acceptable” friends. However, I think it is important to critically consider and challenge what it means to be “socially acceptable” in your context. Do you care if your friends are “socially acceptable?” Regardless of social pressure, I try and re-direct my focus to people that I enjoy the company of, without much emphasis on whether they are “socially acceptable.” It is important to contemplate where your values lie.
Finally, be yourself! I know that this is a cheesy line, but it is the truth! By being yourself, you will naturally draw people who appreciate you and push away those who don’t get along with you. That is the beauty of it—you’re not going to get along with everyone. I mean, how could you? We all have varying degrees of compatibility with our unique personalities.
Recognize how you are a worthy friend and stick to being yourself. Friendship is about being real, authentic, and genuine. These people are chosen by you to be a part of your life. Only invite those that bring joy to your life :)
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