Being a human being is an interesting endeavor. It is unique, it is challenging, and most importantly, it is imperfect. It is hard to pinpoint a “right” and “wrong” for being human, especially when considering one’s uncontrolled circumstances. In these moments, when you or those around you make mistakes, it is important to have grace while simultaneously protecting your peace—a difficult balance to strike.
Often, it is too easy to overthink someone’s interactions with you and blame them for their behavior. We try to make sense of what happened, which typically requires a target for our negative emotions such as anger.
During these moments, I believe it is important to consider more than oneself in the situation. I try to think about how if the roles were reversed, and I made a mistake, I would want the other person to have grace for me. It would be heartbreaking for that one mistake to define who I am in their eyes.
After all, we’ve all done something in our past that likely affected someone else that we regret. Often, these mistakes are a rarer occurrence and external factors (such as pressure, deadlines, and mental health) can influence our reactions at that particular moment. With these thoughts in mind, when someone hurts my feelings or makes a mistake, I try to offer them the kindness that I would hope for myself.
However, with this kindness, you must also be kind to yourself—protect your own peace, too! In other words, you can have grace for someone while recognizing how their actions impacted you and preventing future conflicts for your own mental well-being. For example, you may choose to distance yourself during their times of stress.
At the end of the day, you are most responsible for your contentment in life. People who make mistakes can’t expect you to be there for them every step of the way, just as you cannot expect that from them. It is okay to be forgiving and kind while setting boundaries in your relationships to protect your well-being.
I have found that this is a difficult balance to achieve as people will often react differently to your boundaries. In these interactions, it is important to remember that you cannot please everyone and that pleasing those around you is not your role. Instead, extend kindness to yourself and those around you.
This blog post was more philosophical—simply something I have been learning through the years. I hope you find these thoughts interesting and develop your ideas, too! Thanks for reading!
All my best,
N
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